Confidence is broken
Friday, May 26
OK, I'm at work and I just spilled Quaker Oats everywhere. You know how they say a little oatmeal goes a long way? They're right.
Monday, February 6
On Friday, (over IM, no less) I was telling her how much I missed her (especially now that she's been here). She started telling me how I just need to get out more. I started getting a little annoyed because she wasn't picking up on the fact that I'm not just lonely, I missed HER.
After some back and forth, she was asking me why I don't/haven't dated (like it's a choice). I finally admitted to her that I always thought we were building to something all this time. Apparently, I was wrong. I guess we'll just be friends. I hope she knows I wouldn't give up what we've built all these years, but I would also jump at the chance for something more, and I can't pretend there's not something else in my heart for her just because she lives 350 miles away, and happens to be with someone.
Monday, January 30
I took her to the airport today. It was one of the hardest things I've done in a long time. With all the AIC we listened to this weekend, this from the beginning of "Frogs" is all I can think of to describe:
"Why's it have to be this way?
Are you like me, confused? All included but you. Alone..."
Saturday, January 14
Theres a wall, standing here between us
And thats all thats keeping you from freedom
I keep pushing harder, and you keep getting stronger
You won't break
Because you're afraid to fall
And there's a wall
You move me when you want to, and you find reasons to fight
Another lame excuse to keep the devil on your side
Trying hard to hide those scars, that I've already seen
Your beat up heart's not the only thing that's keeping you from me.
